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"Heero Yuy, L6, and the Second Suit Wars "Part 3Written By: ELLE Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from Gundam
Wing (unfortunately) and they were used without permission, but all
the words are my own. Rating: NC 17 Warnings: occurs post-EW, language, angst, sex,
hopefully acceptable OOC, 1st person POV (*shudder* sorry, no way
around it!), plus a ton of minor and a few major OCs (since it's 1st
person, you get to avoid dealing with them too much.) Pairings: 1x2x1 plus others TBD Summary: Jack Kaufmann has no recollection of the braided man who claims they were once more than friends, but his quest to recover his memories leads him to discover a plot much larger than himself that is a threat to the peace he'd once fought to protect... The lovely Miss-Murdered beta'd this for me and frankly this story wouldn't exist without her encouragement.
"Restitution of a Former Life " 3.11 The Final Act
I opened the cockpit and stepped out, staring down as Trowa approached through the vast room. He stopped just beneath me and I took off my helmet, running my gloved fingers through sweaty hair. "I'm going to set the self-destruct mechanism for twenty minutes. Is that enough time?" Trowa nodded an affirmative so I sat back down in the cockpit and set the suit to detonate. For a moment I lay my fingers on the grips and curled them tightly against the rubber, allowing myself a moment of nostalgia before I sucked in a breath and stood. Things were infinitely better when there were no more mobile suits. There was no reason for nostalgia. I descended on the zip line to meet Trowa, who appraised me silently for a moment before leading me back through the hangar to the door where he entered. We passed through areas I was familiar with to an office of sorts that appeared to be his. I don't know what specifically gave me that impression, as it was basically devoid of any personal artifacts, but then it looked quite a bit like my own office at Preventer so long ago I supposed. "I'm almost done sabotaging the system," he murmured as his fingers flew over computer keys. I hummed an acknowledgement as I watched over his shoulder. It may have seemed pointless to destroy any data when the whole colony was about to be blown, but salvage was a big business and a lot could be reclaimed from computer parts that weren't destroyed well enough. It wasn't worth the risk. "Do you still have the blueprints I gave you?" He looked back over his shoulder at me a moment and I nodded, pulling them up from under my flight suit and handing the flash drive back. Our eyes met for just a moment and my curiosity got the better of me. "Why did you leave?" I asked, the question sounding uncomfortably loud in the empty room despite how quietly I had asked it and he snorted as he swiveled back around in his chair to the computer screen. "For the same reasons you did," he muttered under his breath. My brows narrowed as I considered that, unsure what he meant. Surely he hadn't attempted to kill Quatre - so what would the reasoning be? "To protect the person you love, idiot," he growled, eyes not moving from the screen as he plugged in the flash drive I'd just given back to him. "Now go back down the hall and open the first door on your left and get me a flight suit from the closet while I finish this." I followed his command through knee-jerk reaction and didn't have much time to consider what he'd said before I caught sight of Lennon in the first bed, nearly too small for him, sized to fit children not grown men. He was hooked up to a life-support machine and I approached, my fingers resting on his arm gently but he didn't even flinch. He didn't move at all. His chest rose and fell gently and I could see his eyes jumping back and forth beneath his eyelids but that was it. I felt sorry for him, really, it was the only thing I could feel. He was faced with this or having his mind wiped and he chose this. And this is what Sergio ultimately wanted for humanity? My imagination filled the rest of the beds in the dormitory with bodies like his, hooked up to machines just like him, and expanded it outwards and I knew then that despite everything, the mistakes I made, the people I would have to kill destroying this colony - I was making the right decision. "I'm sorry." Trowa's voice startled me and I turned to face him in a defensive position before realizing who it was. He moved through hallways between the beds in the dormitory as I watched, opening the closet door at the end and pulling out a flight suit from the bottom of a stack. I suppose most of them were likely child-sized. "I forgot he was in here." The dismissive tone to his voice irritated me slightly as I considered the sacrifice Lennon had made. Perhaps not ultimately the most useful sacrifice but then I didn't know what memories he was projecting on to those children right now, what he was saying to them in the last few minutes before he went down with the colony. "How did you...?" I asked shortly, words trailing off as he took off his lab coat and baggy business dress clothes before sliding into the flight suit. His eyes turned dispassionately towards the body and then back to his suit. "I altered his brain chemistry, creating an environment under which his synapses increased exponentially over the course of twelve hours so that he could handle the system," Trowa said as he zipped up, turning to grab a helmet out of the closet. "That process had predictable consequences. He can no longer control his own body as his brain has been essentially rewired. He is existing on autonomic nervous system alone." I blinked and then stared back down at Lennon. If Trowa could do this to Lennon... "There's nothing we can do for him?" I asked, knowing the answer - but the words still left my lips. "No. Nothing." My head snapped back to Trowa, watching as he fit his helmet. What was to keep him from repeating this process? Shouldn't Trowa be erased, destroyed, just like those blueprints, that computer? What made him any different? He still knew too much. He nodded his head in my direction impatiently as he passed but my feet remained rooted to the ground, the horror of what I was going to have to do washing over me. But there was no way around it. I locked my helmet into place as we headed quickly back the way Duo and I had left a few days ago. As we slid along the corridor I contemplated ways of incapacitating him so that he was stuck here. When we reached the deserted hangar he immediately headed towards a shuttle and I grabbed his wrist. He jerked away from me and glared through the visor of his helmet but I moved in with a series of kicks he managed to block and turn away from, creating a little distance. But he clearly didn't want to return the offense and I scowled, wishing he would just make this easy for me. "What are you doing?" he asked, voice muffled significantly by the helmet but I heard him, and I just shook my head, following immediately with a right hook to his face. Trowa was wearing a helmet, obviously, it wasn't a good move, the impact would be ineffectual, I was just merely trying to fake him out and it worked. He shifted, holding up a forearm to block and I grabbed his wrist once more, used his sideways momentum to twist it around his back and take him to the ground. He looked up at me from the floor, legs trying to dislodge my weight from his body. "I'm not letting you leave here!" I shouted at him and his eyes widened in surprise and then his brows narrowed back in frustration. "What?" He jerked his shoulders but I had both of his hands behind his back now and my full weight on his torso and there was no way he was escaping me. "You know too much," I answered, irritated that he wouldn't give up the fight. "Fuck you!" he shouted back. "We don't have time for this." "No," I replied. We had plenty of time. But my head ached and my heart was pounding in my chest, flighty and uncomfortable. I ignored it, pressed him harder against the floor. This was what I had to do. This is what I had to do to atone for everything. Never let this happen again. "Heero!" He became more frantic as he realized I wasn't going to let up but my fingers tightened on his wrists until they would bruise and he struggled harder. But I wouldn't let him go. I wouldn't let this be repeated. I wouldn't let anyone with such intimate knowledge of HERA, of the new type suits, of the procedure used to destroy people's memories - destroy their very lives - leave this place. And that included myself. "We don't have to do this," he argued but, of course, he would argue that if he intended to recreate this system in the future with his knowledge. I ignored him. It wouldn't be long now and this would all be over. Everything. And I would no longer be a threat. Duo would be safe. Everyone would be safe. "I saved you from self-destruction once - Heero!" Trowa yelled but it was like his voice was coming from a million miles away as blood rushed in my ears and I felt hot, suddenly, so hot, and my arms shook. "I'm not going to let you die here!" My chest heaved and my arms felt so weak and I remembered Trowa as he was at fifteen, caring for a boy he hardly knew, agreeing to follow him around Europe to atone for sins he could never forgive himself for. I gasped and I knew that this was wrong, that Trowa wasn't the problem here. Trowa, who had the capacity to care so much about others. Trowa, who did the same as me, leaving to protect the man he loved and I understood then. Trowa would never recreate this. All Trowa wanted was for Quatre to be safe. Trowa gave up a relationship, years of his life, everything, just like I did, to ensure Quatre's safety. He would never recreate this. I caught my breath, fought down the craziness in my own head and pulled him to his feet by his wrists, pushing him in the direction of the shuttle. "I'm sorry - I'll... I'll open the airlock manually. You go," I commanded and he shook his head. "I'm not going without you," he demanded, brows furrowed in anger and he grabbed my wrist. "You have to - we don't have the time!" I argued back, jerking my wrist out of his grasp. "I'm too fucked up. I'll - I'll kill him, you understand?" My lips curled in anguish and I knew. I couldn't leave here. Trowa might not ever recreate this, but I was this and I couldn't leave here. "Leave!" I demanded, pushing him backward with a hard shove to the chest as I retreated, glaring at him, wishing I could move him with the sheer force of my will alone. "Leave!" I shouted again and I watched his last moment of hesitation as he turned to the shuttle and opened the door. I rushed back to the control panel as Trowa geared up the shuttle and began to move it into position. Knowing his time was limited I opened the airlock and then overrode the controls to the outside hatch, knowing that would give him the quickest route directly into space. Foolishly, I thought of Duo in that moment as I confirmed the override. I thought of what Trowa would tell him, how he would react, and I although I knew it was for the best, a part of me wished I hadn't shut down our connection in HERA, wished I had said a better goodbye. The rapid decompression of atmosphere in the hangar caused me to grip the desk harder, fingers fighting as the sucking whoosh became stronger but I wanted to go down here, with the colony, with this horror I had created and not strangling to death with limited oxygen in the grand expansive of space. I didn't see Trowa's shuttle leave as I slammed my eyes shut against the pull, a pathetic sob escaping my throat because this was it, this was the end, and all of this could've been avoided and - I had told Duo we'd do this together but I lied. I lied and - and all I wanted was to hold him in my arms one last time, press his forehead against my shoulder, kiss his head and bury my nose in his hair, feel his warmth and - My fingers slipped and I grasped tighter but it was no use. I knew any moment I would be expelled out of this hangar with the remnants of atmosphere and all I could think was that love was such a stupid thing. It could bring out the worst in us but now, right now, maybe it could bring out the best. Our love for humanity - Duo's and the war he fought for smiles, Lennon's and the sacrifice he made to bring me here to destroy this, Trowa's and the way he gave up an entire life to be here at ground zero... Maybe it was enough. Maybe my sacrifice would be enough to justify the selfish things I'd done in the name of love. I felt the tremor of Zeus exploding in the lower levels just as my fingers slipped completely and I cursed my inability to hold on just a moment longer. I'd always failed at the last minute. But at the same time, it was too late. I knew it was too late, I would never make it out of the airlock and into space and I would go down with the colony. Success. Fuck. This was it. The end. At least I wouldn't be able to hurt anyone else. And my last thought was of Duo's face - one finger pressed to his lips, saying goodbye - as I slammed hard into the ceiling, the force of atmospheric ejection from the colony and the collision causing me to black out.
~ * ~ tbc... |
